ON MY OWN

• On my own,
• Pretending he's beside me.
• All alone,
• I walk with him till morning.
• Without him,
• I feel his arms around me,
• And when I lose my way I close my eyes
• And he has found me.
• In the rain,
• The pavement shines like silver.
• All the lights
• Are misty in the river.
• In the darkness,
• The trees are full of starlight,
• And all I see is him and me for ever and forever.
• And I know
• It's only in my mind,
• That I'm talking to myself
• And not to him.
• And although I know that he is blind,
• Still I say,
• There's a way for us.
• I love him,
• But when the night is over,
• He is gone,
• The river's just a river.
• Without him,
• The world around me changes.
• The trees are bare and everywhere
• The streets are full of strangers.
• I love him,
• But every day I'm learning,
• All my life,
• I've only been pretending!
• Without me,
• His world will go on turning,
• The world is full of happiness that I have never known!

People

------------------------------

YOUNG BLOOD

People

By Samuel Bautista

Inquirer

Last updated 10:56pm (Mla time) 11/19/2007

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Except for presidents, I have probably met all kinds of people -- politicians, lawyers, journalists, criminals, scholars, con artists, businessmen, pimps, ex-convicts, doctors, actors, sailors, security guards -- all kinds!

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No man is an island, said John Donne. People come and go in our lives. Our lives are enriched or destroyed by people; our experiences with other people can make or break us. But in the end, our lives are all intertwined, like the threads of a magnificent tapestry designed by a master weaver.

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We meet people and we either like them or not. It is said that first impressions are lasting. But I guess we know of persons who turn out to be different from our first impressions. Either he’s better than we thought him to be, or he could turn out to be our worst nightmares.

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There are some people who radiate with good vibes the first time we meet them. We feel as if we’ve known them for a long time. None of those awkward moments with strangers; the getting-to-know-you period is just a formality. We simply get along with them so naturally.

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And then there are people we really dislike the moment we meet them. All it takes is just one look, and we’re sure of our feelings for them. Mind you, I’m not saying that the feeling is purely on the physical level. There is more to that: jammed psychic vibrations, like two people’s frequencies gone haywire?

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How do you explain that? You don’t. You may have your theories on why you have felt this or that feeling for a complete stranger or new acquaintance, but the fact is, people believe what they want to believe. You may like a person because she reminds you of your former lover; that person may like you because she thinks you’re her mother in her past life in Pompeii. Anyway, the important thing is to get along with each other.

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But remember: You have to like yourself first before you can be liked. Then again, you may be the most neurotic, manic depressive creature on this planet and people will still flock to you. Misery, after all, loves company.

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The bottom line is: People are people and you can’t live without them so you might as well get used to the idea that they’re here to stay. Me, I just sing George Michael’s “Kissing A Fool”: People/ you can never change the way they feel/ Better let them do just what they will/ for they will…”

SPCIS98 TRIAL REUNION!!

Hi everyone, SPCIS'98 will be having a "trial reunion" next month(December 2007) in preparation for our 10th anniversary next year December 2008. Visit our SPCIS98yahoogroups for more info.

Click to join SPCIS98

Parang si Daddy!!

YOUNGBLOOD

Seeing through Papa

By Daniel Doligon

Inquirer

Last updated 04:10am (Mla time) 11/17/2007

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Yesterday was Papa’s 60th birthday. When I spoke to him over the phone with Mama by his side, he almost broke into tears. His sonorous but firm voice cracked. I could feel in that voice that as he held his emotion, he was like a dam about to burst. He was grateful and overwhelmed that his three grown-up sons and daughter remembered him on his birthday. Our voices were enough to comfort him and Mama in their loneliness in an old ancestral house in a faraway province.

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I thought Papa had changed so much but I soon realized that it was us, his children, who did. Of course, his hair has turned gray, his movements have been slowed by his weary muscles and aching joints, but I am referring to these traces of aging.

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I used to see Papa as a fearsome young fellow, incapable of mercy and compassion. He was an embodiment of forbidding authority, illogical and unjust.

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When we were growing up, our lives were defined by his unbending rules. At home, Papa’s words were the law and his hands were a formidable weapon of discipline. A slight infraction would surely catch his ire. He would glare at us and when things turned to worse, he was ready to unleash his reproach, making sure that our childish whims would not be repeated. For us, his children and my young cousins, Papa was a fellow who deprived us of all the things a child should have or enjoy.

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Papa did not allow us to eat sweets, candies and chocolates. It mattered not that they were gifts on special occasions like birthdays. He always said that they would destroy our teeth. He never gave us money because it would spoil us; it was not good for us to get used to having money in our hands. He didn’t want us to have the impression that we had more than enough. He didn’t indulge us with toys. Instead he lavished us with books and the Encyclopedia. We thought it was unfair, but we complained only in our minds or when he was not listening.

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He was very angry when he caught us playing cards even though he knew we were not gambling.

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There were no computer games either. We had our time for TV only on weekends when there were no classes. At nights, we had to be home by six o’clock, or else our young skin would get a taste of his brown leather belt. Before eating supper, we would pray the rosary, besides our going to Mass every Sunday. For him, it was a mortal sin to take lightly our faith, and until now he still believes so.

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On weekends, he would see to it that we did house chores, even supervising us as we performed our assigned tasks while mumbling our protestations to ourselves. There were not just a few times that I envied my friends and wished to have been born in someone else’s home or to other parents. There were times that I would cry till I would fall asleep, but Papa would never show a sign that he had a change of heart. There were countless times when my rebellious heart prodded me to run away or secretly curse him for what he was doing to us. Papa, I thought, was “over-disciplining” us and I wanted to hate him and make him feel sorry for it. It seemed to him that for Papa everything that children found to be good, enjoyable, innocent and thrilling was bad. And I thought, life would have been so beautiful but for a father like him.

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Ironically, it was also during those times that I could not find a reason to fight him. Things seemed confusingly right and worked smoothly. I may not have found the reason he treated us that way, neither did I find one to hate him. I tried to look for faults in him but every time I did, I always ended up in dead ends. I tried to paint him as a monster like the ones I saw in the movies, but he wouldn’t fit the picture. I felt so powerless because I felt the warmth of his love every time he reprimanded us for the wrongs we did.

----- Papa is still the same father I have known for 25 years. Though his hands are already frail, wearied by work and wrinkled by age. He barely scolds us now or imposes his rules. His voice is still firm but calm and comforting. His words are rules no more but nuggets of life’s wisdom, a compass in our life’s journey.

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Papa’s ways were not easy for both children and parents; there were neither short cuts nor candy-coated words. There was no room for pampering or childish indulgences. He knew that we could end up hating him for the way he disciplined us but Papa was willing to pay the price. He knew that he had a great responsibility before him.

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When our tears dried up and our hurts somehow lightened, he would tell us calmly in a soothing tone that what he was doing was for us. Of course, we did not understand him then. It took us years to realize what he meant -- that behind the spanks, his angry stares and occasional curses was a caring and loving heart that wouldn’t give up on us. And I am glad he didn’t.

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Papa loves us so much. His ways might have been imperfect, but they grew out of his loving heart.

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Daddy was like the father in the above article. Only that he didn't went abroad to look for greener pasture, but went back to the Creator. Leaving us something sufficient for our necessities..And I am so thankful to him and mother that I've grown up to be who I am, today!

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advance happy birthday daddy!!! (Dec.13, 1935)

single MOM!

20 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood

By Samantha Applewhite

1. Pick your battles. With the kids, over clothes, food, bath time, and friends; with your Ex over child support, child rearing, and visitation; with Public Service Agencies over paperwork, caseworker attitudes, benefits. Finally with your extended family over living up to their expectations and holidays.

2. Prioritize your life. Decide on five important areas in your life (i.e. yourself, children, career, social life, church, volunteering, etc.). Put them in order from most to least important and within each area decide what activities you normally engage in, then prioritize. If it is not a priority, say ‘no’. Decide later if it is worth adding to your list of priorities.

3. Stay Focused. Set goals. When you get sidetracked get back on track. Post your goals, daily routines, and appointments where you can see them.

4. Ask for help. From trusted family and friends with the children, automobile maintenance and repair, occasional financial obligations, and limited decision making (advice)

5. Talk out your feelings. With trusted friends or a counselor. Bottled up emotions will eventually explode. Get them out ASAP!

6. Step back when overwhelmed. It is better to walk away for a little while than to stay too long and overload. Know when to say when.

7. Take a day off (forget responsibilities). It’s okay to take a day for yourself. If you feel too guilty, take a half-day. Those few hours will do wonders for your soul. Use the time to pamper yourself. When the mommy feels good, everyone else feels good too!

8. Have dreams, set goals. Life without dreams can be hopeless so dare to dream. But don’t just stop there. Set attainable goals and remember to note the details of those goals in the process. The when, where, and how of the goal will keep you on track in your effort to reach them.

9. Maintain friendships. Friends are so important. Don’t forget the old ones and never be afraid to make new ones. They enrich your life and help you remember that you are still an adult. Another important thing about friendship is learning how to be a friend. There is trust, loyalty, and commitment involved and you must possess these traits for long lasting friendship, but it is worth it.

10. Realize the freedom you have. Being a single mother gives you so much freedom. You make the decisions and you don’t have to answer to anyone. You can pick up and go when you want to (with careful planning) and you are free to be or at least discover who you are as an individual. Take advantage of your freedom.

11. Learn from mistakes. What good are mistakes if you don’t learn from them? They are bound to come up again if you don’t correct the problem the first time. There are some things that are hard to grasp the first time around and we may not even realize that it is a problem, but if it comes around over and over again you should recognize that something is probably wrong somewhere. Learning and growing is a never-ending process so get a clue as soon as possible and save yourself a lot of aggravation.

12. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Even though you make mistakes don’t be too hard on yourself. Being human means that you won’t be perfect so accept it and move on. You will be much happier and you will give your self-esteem a positive break.

13. Forgive yourself. It is okay to ask God to forgive you or to ask others to forgive you, but it is more important that you forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself gives you freedom from guilt and pain and it helps you move on with life in a positive way. You can be your own worst enemy so forgive yourself and choose to be happy with your decision and the rest of your life.

14. Follow your own path. There is a certain path that everyone must take for himself or herself. Following someone else’s path for your life can lead you down a long road full of sorrows. Pray for guidance in finding your own path and believe that God is directing you. When you find yourself taking a detour, have the courage to stop, turn around, and get back on your true path.

15. Resolve personal issues one at a time. There are some things in life that need specialized attention and resolving past issues is one of them. If you try to tackle more than one issue at a time, you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and even depressed because you can’t see progress.

16. Make time for hobbies. Hobbies are meant to be enjoyed. They give you pleasure so set aside some time to do the things that make you happy. All work and no play make life much too stressful.

17. Enjoy your kids. They are only young once so enjoy them now. Getting down to their level physically is so important to them and to you. Listen to their joys and pains. Play games with them. Tickle them no matter how old they think they are. Touch is an amazing healer and bonding agent. They can never get enough of your touch.

18. Cherish your shower/bath time. That may be the only alone time you get. Lavish yourself with wonderful smelling fragrances, body wash, and candles. Bubbles and body scrubs all make you feel like a pampered princess. Add some music and be prepared to float away to a better place (at least for 15 minutes).

19. Avoid Super Mom Syndrome. There is so much to get done and only one of you to do it. As much as you would like to get everything and make sure that everything is perfect, don’t burn yourself out trying to get it all done. The most important job you have is to take care of your child and yourself. Ways to avoid the super mom syndrome is to ask for help, set priorities, relax certain standards in regards to housekeeping, saying yes to everyone, etc. Get help in meals by having someone cook for you, make casseroles, and have leftovers often.

20. Maintain a relationship with God. This last, but most important tip, is the primary key to success as a single mother. Talking to God through prayer is one way to build a relationship with God. Reading the bible is another way to build your relationship with God. Simple verses in Psalms and Proverbs are favorites and require only a few minutes of your time. You will soon find that the words written there are your words. You will receive hope and encouragement especially when you are going through a particularly hard time. Read the bible and stay connected to God, your ultimate friend and provider.

If you decide to take up the challenge of being a successful single mother, you will soon find that your life has changed dramatically. The only person who can determine the outcome in you life is you. Trust that, by following the process of self improvement and success, you will come out ahead in life. It is the best example that you can set for your precious children.

-from searchmothers.com

Life's storm - tossed sea

"Dropped what weighs you down by giving it to God."

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"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

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"Jesus knows the pain you feel He can save and He can heal- Take your Burden to the Lord And leave it there." - Tindley

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Sometimes we tend to forget Him and get busy solving our what seems to be impossible adversities in life. Let us not forget that everything starts and ends with Him. Keep the FAITH.. you will never go wrong. =)

celebrity lookalike

Oh well, walang kokontra.. hahahhaa.. pagbigyan nyo na ako *wink, wink!

CONFESSION WITH "COACH"

A conversation with "coach" (who will forever be nameless..hehehhe) on discerning what's the right thing to do, being inlove, moving on and getting a grip out of that experience, not only in lovE but in every hardships we encounter in our lives.

*confused (i need someone to talk to..)

Coach: "I understand how you feel right now, I emphatized with you. I want you to be strong. Try to discern what is the right thing to do. MOVE ON."

*moving on is hard.... you can't help but think of the person every now and then...

Coach: "Just keep on trying. It maybe hard. HURTING... but it's liberating, it would lead to HEALING and peace of mind! Letting go or holding on... your decision."

*on struggling to move on..

Coach: "Just follow the VOICE OF YOUR CONSCIENCE. It will guide you what is the best and right thing to do."

*I am bad!!!

Coach: "You are not bad. You are just inlove!!!"

*hanging...

Coach: "Better talk to him and let him know how you feel. TRY TO!!"

*ignored.

Coach: "HE SHOULDN'T! Well if he ignores you, what do you think is the right thing to do???"

*MOVE ON!!!

Coach: "I'm glad that you made that big STEP. YOU ARE MOVING ON!!! ...at kasama mo ako palagi..."

to my shebeng, happy birthday!!!

I can't in my wildest dreams,

imagine life without you, my friend, my sister.

Who would I talk to when

I feel like reminiscing about old crushes, .. boyfriends (wink, wink),

new hairstyles, or embarassingly funny things

that happened as we grew closer?

Who else could I gripe to

about what upsets me? And who else

would know exactly what to do to calm me down?

Who else would remember the secrets

and the rainy-day fun times?

The tears, the triumphs, the fears, and real friends?

Who else would be as honest,

as heart-to-heart caring, or as wonderfully you?

NOBODY.

Absolutely nobody

in the entire, infinite, endless universe.

JUST YOU..

Happy birthday dearest soul-sister!!!!

I love you.

-hallmark, between you and me cards..

dilemmna!

"accept the marriage proposal or become a single mother???"